The Two Temperature Worlds... Married

I love the cold. Of course, I do have my limits on the extremeties, but all in all I believe the saying that Norwegians say: "Cold is better than hot, because you can put on as many clothes as you'd like but you can only take off so much." By "take off so much" of course they mean being stark nude (it is Scandinavia after all). I suppose my Swedish blood is a blessing when it comes to living in Logan, Utah. I do feel bad for my dear wife, Emily, however.

I don't want this to sound bad, but if it were possible for Emily to have been born in Hell, she would have taken the offer. The woman loves heat and warmth. A typical image of us at night in our bed is sweet Emily curled up in a ball, four or more quilts covering her clear up over her head, with her dressed in her flannel pajamas (which are actually mine that I got for Christmas two years ago... but welcome to married life, eh?). Then as you pan over the bed, you will find, no not a whale, but yours truly spread out to increase surface area to decrease any heat waves that dare cross my path, not a cover in sight. I mentioned to a married friend one time about our temperature differences, and the man just chuckled and said, "Oh, we both like it way cold. We leave the window open, fan going and everything, all through January. We sleep on stone beds too to help make sure no heat exsists whatsoever." Alright, maybe that's not a direct quote, but my point is that if there weren't differences in temperature in a married couple then what fun would life be?

Take for example last Friday night's Utah State football game. I had yet to take Emily to a USU football game, and so we figured that what a better game to go to than the last home game of the season, who happens to be against number six in the nation Boise State University. It was a chilly one that night, and even the ESPN commentators who had come to Logan for the first time to commentate football in five years exclaimed that "Someone took a chunk of Antarctica and transplanted it in Utah, called it Logan, but no body got the memo." It was pretty cold, but I dressed Em up like an eskimo, grabbed a couple of quilts, and off we went. Em and I would randomly cuddle here and there, but then I would get so dang excited that I'd jump up, tearing off the quilt and, upon return to my seat, found a rather grumpy-looking spouse. I'm getting pretty good at apologizing.

All in all, Thanksgiving is here, December is on its way, and it is OBVIOUS. I've never really felt bad for an automobile before; but there are some mornings when I just wonder why our Chrystler even dares to start. I know I wouldn't. "Nope," I'd say "this sucks. No way am I going to take your cold behinds to work!"

I'm just grateful I'm not a car. Em is too, I think... I'd be way too cold for her.

Mr. Mom

Crusties on the plates. Part-dry, part-damp laundry. Dyed clothes.


Em started her full-time job last week at Impact Cash Loans in a division that all the employees call "Vegas." It's okay, I was nervous too when she first told me that, but it turns out that Las Vegas is the city where her current division previously resided, hence the nickname. But either way, Em is the new head bread-winner for the Cazier Fam.

How do I feel? Well, I admit that it's definitely a little strange having the woman go out and provide for yours truly. Yeah, I do a few advertisement jobs on the side, but ultimately Em is the one who is keeping us afloat. With the wife out of the home, I offered to step up to the plate and see if I could take care of some of the household chores.

I thought that I was doing ok, but when the bachelor-of-all-bachelors Jacob Thomas stopped in the other day, he even made some smart comment noticing that the house "isn't quite the same."


After dropping Em off at 7 AM, I get cracking on various household items. I start off by organizing the laundry into the different types and colors, just like Mama Beth and Emsies have taught me. To my amazement, SIX loads of laundry awaited to be hauled to the laundromat. I washed and even dried all that laundry... or at least kind of. A sock had accidentally got stuck in one of the loads and suddenly became blue, and then after arriving home, I grab some jeans to begin folding them, but only to feel a horrible dampness. Well... damp probably isn't even the dang word. Sopping would most likely be more appropriate. Either way, those jeans definitely aren't wearable.

I have two options at this point: one, I can just fold the jeans and just pretend that everything is going to be okay, or two, I can hang them up outside and let them be cardboard. Man, these decisions aren't too easy. It's rough staying at home!

After the laundry is taken care of, next comes the cleaning and the dishes. I believe in speed; pure and simple. Consequently, sometimes the cleaning jobs I perform are not always "squeaky clean." But hey, a few leftovers on the plates and glasses aren't too bad, right? Just a little more protein...

Lately I have been concerned with styling the home. It's true! I have been rearranging some items on the wall. I'm a true Pottery Barn, I am! Yeah, sure, Em has insisted we move a few of them around (back to how they were), but it's all good. I'm confident that one day her style will come around.

It's true: I am one cool Mr. Mom.